Undeserved
by basicnsync
Summary: Picks up the same night as "Come Back". Deeks' display of trust and understanding makes Kensi feel inadequate. But, they'll always have time for noodles, right?


Her past and her present were sitting side by side. One went around the world and left her behind, while the other went around the world to get her back. Now their camaraderie seemed, well, not exactly effortless, but at least respectfully tolerant. When Deeks made the offer for Jack to spend the night with them, she knew where her future lay.

As Jack and Granger left, she could hardly wait to grab him and kiss him, and it felt good. Right. Perfect.

What did she do to deserve this man?

She realized that she had never, as Deeks' lover, been forced to share oxygen with another lover and make conversation. Of course, she had dealt with Max's undercover fling, Monica, but she and Deeks were not together then. Monica had seen through Kensi's casual exterior and knew her feelings for Deeks went deeper than professional. Monica was in prison.

Of course, Talia's attraction for Deeks was on display every time she came around, and Kensi handled it like a true lady…wrestler.

Deeks, however, when faced with her ex-fiancé, possessed the wisdom of Solomon, and decided not to cut Kensi in half. He was willing to give her what she needed most: closure. And that meant that he knew her better than anyone and put her needs above his own, and Kensi had never felt more loved.

When they arrived home (THEIR home) together, with the take out noodles and boxes from her place, he knew there was a long night of unpacking ahead. It didn't matter—he was looking forward to it. However, he was surprised when she took the box out of his hands and set it on the floor, then grabbed both of his hands and walked backwards, pulling him to the bedroom.

Once there, she turned around and pushed him until he was sitting on the bed. She sat in his lap, and kissed him tenderly. She was smiling serenely and her eyes were bright with emotion.

"Hey, Kensalina—what gives?" he asked. He wasn't putting her off. He was genuinely surprised.

"Will you just let me love you?" she asked in a whisper. "Let me show you how happy I am to be yours, Marty."

"Is anything wrong?" he asked as he brushed her hair back from her face and searched her face.

"Nothing's wrong, Deeks. You make me happy everyday. You surprise me every day. And just when I think I have seen everything- there it is. Something bigger, better, and more surprising. What you did for me today was so unselfish. I can't think of any other person I have ever met who would have reacted the way you did to seeing Jack. You could have been jealous or angry, but instead, you understood that I might have things I needed to say to him. You made sure we had time alone. How can you be that selfless? No one else would do that."

He looked surprised. "Kensi, no one else has you as the prize. No one else knows what it feels like on this day to hold you and be loved by you. This," he gestured, pointing to himself and to her, "—nothing I can do would be enough to deserve this, so I consider it a gift."

"See," she said, wiping away her tears with a smile, and raising her hands in surrender. "There you go again!"

"Kensi, I love every part of you, including your past. I can't pretend you don't have history with Jack. I would never want you to be with me if any part of you still wanted him. I want you to be happy. That's how much I love you—how you deserve to be loved." He tenderly kissed her eyelids, and she nestled under his chin.

He whispered, "I don't want you to _settle_ for me. I want you to _choose_ me. That's how I want to be loved."

"Oh, Baby, I chose you a long time ago," she said into his neck. "Seeing Jack in Afghanistan and here today made me realize that he took choices away from me. I needed to feel that I was in control again, and that's what you did for me." She pressed herself against him. "But," she whispered, "I'm not unselfish and thoughtful like you are. I get so jealous. I could never be like that. I could never make sure you and another woman had alone time. I would want to bash her skull in. What kind of woman does that make me?"

He laughed and shook his head. "My kind of woman—my kickass Kensalina! Kens, you are absolutely who I need you to be! Do you know how it makes me feel to know you would fight like a tigress for me? I want to scrape my knuckles on the ground and bang my chest, it's so hot!" He fell back on the bed, pulling her down with him. He held her face and kissed her fiercely before rolling over her. He broke apart from their kiss, grinning.

"Hell, if we were both the same, there would be no chemistry. It would be like syrup and honey. I want baking soda and vinegar! I want explosions! I want Mount Vesuvius!"

"Baking soda and vinegar? You just named two feminine cleansing solutions!"

"Well, I have been called a douche!"

"Bad mental picture, Deeks!" she grinned.

They made love her favorite way, with smiles on their faces. They made love his favorite way—wait, that was any way! They both got exactly what they deserved. Twice!


End file.
